i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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