Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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