im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
