I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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