she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my being single is dangerous.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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