I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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