I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
