I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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