Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
