I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
