dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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