They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
