I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
