hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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