you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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