Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize