Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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