And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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