there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with