So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
