It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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