did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
