based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize