I got chris browned last night
dude i'm inner monologue high
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize