So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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