Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?