Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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