I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
