I hope mine doesn't look like that
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
