I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
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You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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