I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
