he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
