You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
