Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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