some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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