I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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