I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
