just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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