Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
