Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize