My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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