yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
