using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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