Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
