how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
