Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
