Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
