literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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