Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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