You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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