At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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