My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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