Im at strip club and am horny
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's blow job season.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
