we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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