well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
