No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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