you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
