This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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